Hello you beauties!

Today's post is a little different than usual. I've been thinking a lot about the past year and what has changed. And one significant change in my life has to be my attitude towards body confidence - mine especially. It probably helps to think about it now because it is being talked about a lot in the media these days

For anyone who knows me well, they will know that I am not happy with my body. And I know that I'm no where near skinny or slim, and yes I am medically overweight. But should that stop me from doing anything though? No. But does it? Yes.

I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror and would always avoid places like fitting rooms, and if I ever walked past a mirror in a shop, I'd hurry up. I'd hate when people took pictures of me, so I'd avoid it wherever I could (yes, that does mean me and my boyfriend have very few pictures together). I also haven't been swimming for years - not because I can't swim but because I don't have the confidence to wear a bikini or a one-piece. To some people, lack of body confidence might not seem like that bad a thing but to someone like me, it can massively affect your life.

I've seen a lot in social media with celebrities encouraging you to embrace your natural beauty and encouraging body confidence. But in my experience? That doesn't help. These celebrities are always stunning and I KNOW that I look nothing like them but there always is that pressure there to look like them.

And when you know that you definitely look nothing like them, it can be damaging. You're always thinking you're not good enough. There's been many times where I've thought my boyfriend deserved better just because of the way I looked. Why should he stick with me when there's skinnier girls out there? Isn't skinny what all boys want girls to be like? Of course it's not. Every guy has their own preferences (most just don't care at all what your body looks like) and it's just the media making us think that we all have to be skinny like the supermodels that are shown on TV, in newspapers and magazines.

I used to hate looking at my body. Every inch disgusted me. The fact that I don't have a flat stomach. The fact that my thighs are actually quite large and covered in stretch marks. I hate many things about my body, as do many other women/girls that I know. A year ago, there were many many things I would have changed about myself (basically everything). But that has changed.

In April, I met my boyfriend and I will admit that meeting him really helped me with my body confidence. Before I met my boyfriend, I was actually in a very on-off relationship with a guy who finally decided that he didn't want to get back together with me because I was too fat. Getting comments like that really does hurt and makes you feel worthless. That all changed when I met my current boyfriend.

He's always encouraging me to love myself as I am rather than trying to impress anyone else. And obviously that is the sort of support you need from someone. And because of that, I am definitely a more confident person now.

So how has my body confidence changed? Well, I'm no longer finding it as hard to go into fitting rooms and actually do it more often now so that I'm not risking buying clothes that don't fit or don't suit me just because I'm too scared to look at myself in a mirror.

I've also started wearing clothes that I would not have worn before because I was too self conscious. I've started wearing skirts a lot more recently and even bought myself a new dress at the weekend. Yes, I do still wear really dark tights to cover my legs as I do still feel very self conscious about them but my confidence is improving, hence why I'm wearing skirts more often.

And I'm actually starting to appreciate my body more in general, especially my stomach. It definitely isn't a flat stomach (and probably never will be) but the more and more I look at it, the less disgusted I feel by it. I think it helps that I have actually lost weight and that's helping me be more positive about myself. But the most useful thing is knowing that I shouldn't care what other people think and my boyfriend loves me for who I am.

If you want to share your experiences with body confidence with me, then feel free to by either commenting on this post or emailing me at instaurabeauty@gmail.com.

I'll be back next week with another post for you all.
Byeeee!

Hello you beauties!

Today, again, is a non-beauty post because I have been doing some more writing for my university course and so I wanted to share it with you all again.

This is a poem inspired by feminism. My seminar leader told us to use the word feminism as inspiration then asked us to spend 5 minutes doing some free-writing, writing down whatever we thought of when we think about 'feminism'. Then from this free-writing we did, we then had to create a poem from it.

While my poem is actually inspired by feminism, I suppose you could argue that it is actually an anti-feminism poem. While doing my free-writing, all I could think about was a conversation I once had with my boyfriend. We were talking about how, in the modern day, if something were to go wrong in our relationship, he would automatically be blamed just because he is male. That made me think about how, even though feminism can be empowering if used properly, SOME people take it too far and use it as an excuse to physically, verbally and emotionally attack males, which isn't fair.

So here is my poem:

Objectified, by the women -
Beaten down day by day
They scream, scream loud
In the ear of society; listing
The patriarchy's faults one by one
While beating man to a pulp;
Chasing him like ravenous hounds
Just to force the high heel
Deep in his throat.

I hope you all enjoyed my poem and I would love it if you wanted to give me feedback so I can grow as a writer. 

I'll be back next week with another post for you all. 

Byeeee!

Hello you beauties!

This summer I haven't really done much travelling - not because I haven't had the opportunity (I could've gone to Paris with my boyfriend a couple of months ago if I had a passport), but because I've had a lot of other things to focus on this summer, such as preparing for university (I will find out my fate tomorrow). However, within the next year I am hoping to save up a lot of money and hope to travel next summer with my boyfriend, so I wanted to share with you some of the places I hope to have travelled to not necessarily next year but at least within the next 10 years or so.

1. Amsterdam, the Netherlands
I'm sure I'm not the only person who dreams of visiting Amsterdam. Amsterdam is definitely the one place I want to visit the most. I would love to visit the Anne Frank House, explore the art galleries and go for a bike ride around the city.

2. Paris, France
This one was probably very obvious, but I would love to visit the City of Love! There seem to be many amazing places to visit here and I would love to spend all day walking around, seeing every sight I can. Being able to explore this city with my boyfriend would make everything so perfect too.

3. New York, USA
I have always loved the big cities and where better to explore than New York? I would love to visit the big main sites such as the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building, as well as experiencing the food culture found in the Big Apple.

4. South Africa
Anyone who knows me well will know just how much I love South Africa. I am fascinated by the history and culture of this amazing country and would love to explore and experience this for myself. I would also love to see the amazing wildlife/nature of this beautiful place.

5. Rome, Italy
Yes, again it is a major city in a really well-known country but I just know I would fall in love with Rome as soon as I set foot there. The architecture of Rome is what fascinates me before, with its influence from the Romans (who played such a major part in British history too). I would love to go fashion shopping in Rome too - the amount of stores I can explore seems overwhelming and I know this could easily take up a whole day of my visit if I wanted it to. And the food... oh who doesn't love Italian food!?

Obviously there are many other places I hope to visit in the future, such as Greece and Belgium, but this is just a small list of the places I want to visit the most.

Where are the places you would like to visit?

I'll be back next week with another post for you all.
Byeeee!

P.S. Good luck to anyone getting their A Level results tomorrow!