Body Confidence

Hello you beauties!

Today's post is a little different than usual. I've been thinking a lot about the past year and what has changed. And one significant change in my life has to be my attitude towards body confidence - mine especially. It probably helps to think about it now because it is being talked about a lot in the media these days

For anyone who knows me well, they will know that I am not happy with my body. And I know that I'm no where near skinny or slim, and yes I am medically overweight. But should that stop me from doing anything though? No. But does it? Yes.

I used to hate looking at myself in the mirror and would always avoid places like fitting rooms, and if I ever walked past a mirror in a shop, I'd hurry up. I'd hate when people took pictures of me, so I'd avoid it wherever I could (yes, that does mean me and my boyfriend have very few pictures together). I also haven't been swimming for years - not because I can't swim but because I don't have the confidence to wear a bikini or a one-piece. To some people, lack of body confidence might not seem like that bad a thing but to someone like me, it can massively affect your life.

I've seen a lot in social media with celebrities encouraging you to embrace your natural beauty and encouraging body confidence. But in my experience? That doesn't help. These celebrities are always stunning and I KNOW that I look nothing like them but there always is that pressure there to look like them.

And when you know that you definitely look nothing like them, it can be damaging. You're always thinking you're not good enough. There's been many times where I've thought my boyfriend deserved better just because of the way I looked. Why should he stick with me when there's skinnier girls out there? Isn't skinny what all boys want girls to be like? Of course it's not. Every guy has their own preferences (most just don't care at all what your body looks like) and it's just the media making us think that we all have to be skinny like the supermodels that are shown on TV, in newspapers and magazines.

I used to hate looking at my body. Every inch disgusted me. The fact that I don't have a flat stomach. The fact that my thighs are actually quite large and covered in stretch marks. I hate many things about my body, as do many other women/girls that I know. A year ago, there were many many things I would have changed about myself (basically everything). But that has changed.

In April, I met my boyfriend and I will admit that meeting him really helped me with my body confidence. Before I met my boyfriend, I was actually in a very on-off relationship with a guy who finally decided that he didn't want to get back together with me because I was too fat. Getting comments like that really does hurt and makes you feel worthless. That all changed when I met my current boyfriend.

He's always encouraging me to love myself as I am rather than trying to impress anyone else. And obviously that is the sort of support you need from someone. And because of that, I am definitely a more confident person now.

So how has my body confidence changed? Well, I'm no longer finding it as hard to go into fitting rooms and actually do it more often now so that I'm not risking buying clothes that don't fit or don't suit me just because I'm too scared to look at myself in a mirror.

I've also started wearing clothes that I would not have worn before because I was too self conscious. I've started wearing skirts a lot more recently and even bought myself a new dress at the weekend. Yes, I do still wear really dark tights to cover my legs as I do still feel very self conscious about them but my confidence is improving, hence why I'm wearing skirts more often.

And I'm actually starting to appreciate my body more in general, especially my stomach. It definitely isn't a flat stomach (and probably never will be) but the more and more I look at it, the less disgusted I feel by it. I think it helps that I have actually lost weight and that's helping me be more positive about myself. But the most useful thing is knowing that I shouldn't care what other people think and my boyfriend loves me for who I am.

If you want to share your experiences with body confidence with me, then feel free to by either commenting on this post or emailing me at instaurabeauty@gmail.com.

I'll be back next week with another post for you all.
Byeeee!