Hello you beauties!
I really hoped I would never have to write a post like this but I'm afraid that while you all probably thought I would be writing this post from my university flat in Brighton when in fact I am writing this from my bedroom in my family home in Nottingham.
Sometimes things that you dream will happen for a very long time don't always work out. For years, my dream was to study at the University of Brighton. And I managed to achieve that dream. When I realised I was going to be studying English Literature and Creative Writing at the University of Brighton starting October 2017, I was extremely excited. It was all I had ever wanted and I finally got the chance to do this. I couldn't wait to move down there, many many miles away from my hometown of Nottingham, and start a new life there.
However, once I moved, it didn't take me long to realise that maybe I had made a mistake. Well, mistake probably isn't the right word to describe it but I definitely realised that Brighton was not the right place for me.
It just was not what I expected it to be. Before I moved to Brighton, I had visited just once - I spent a couple of days there visiting the university back in Brighton with my mum. I enjoyed my visit then as we spent one day exploring the shops to see what Brighton had to offer. We didn't walk along the seafront but I still enjoyed what I saw. Then the next day we went to the university for talks and to explore the university itself and I really liked the campus and the university course seemed interesting.
Reality is so much different. I lived in student accomodation at Varley Park, located on Coldean Lane. I didn't realise that this would literally be in the middle of nowhere. Don't get me wrong, I loved my flat - I had a decent sized room with an ensuite bathroom and a really modern kitchen and I got breakfast and dinner provided for me 5 days a week. But I felt like the public transport around there was very unreliable and it made me feel trapped. One day I waited over an hour and a half for a bus to go into Brighton city centre and then a bus still didn't arrive... so instead I got a taxi which cost over £20! Something I couldn't afford to do much.
My course also didn't turn out quite how I expected it to be. It was supposed to be joint honours but I really didn't feel like there was much Creative Writing to it which was the part I was looking forward to the most. The course was good but just not what I wanted to do - it was fun to read books and write essays about them but I couldn't see myself being able to build a career out of this degree. I wanted something specific to an English-related career but with an actual English Literature degree you could do whatever.
One of the main problems was how far Brighton was from Nottingham. I'm a naturally shy person so I thought that maybe moving so far away would help to get me out of my shell and become more independent. I didn't realise I would be so so wrong about it all. It took 2 trains, around 4 hours travel and set me back over £60 if I wanted to go home for a visit. So I didn't feel like I could go home for a visit, which made me miss my family even more than I already did.
So I began to feel homesick. And by homesick I mean extremely homesick. At first I knew it would be normal to be homesick so I just knew I had to deal with it and that it may get easier as time passes. It, however, got worse. Each day I would cry down the phone to my parents about how much I wanted to go home. I couldn't sleep. I lost my appetite. I didn't want to socialise. Unless I was at university doing lectures or seminars, I spent all my time in my room doing work or binge watching tv shows on Netflix. It was very lonely and made me hate being in Brighton.
I reached the 5th week of me living there and my homesickness was continually getting worse, to the point where I decided that the best choice for me would be to withdraw from my course and move back to Nottingham. It wasn't an easy decision to make as I didn't want to give up on university, I just knew it wouldn't be healthy for me to carry on how I was.
I don't think that Brighton is a horrible university. I really do wish that I could've made things work out for me in Brighton but, unfortunately, it just wasn't the place for me. I would recommend it as a university as the teaching is great and the staff were always so supportive. I just needed to do what was best for me.
So what now? Well, I am hoping to return to education next September. I'm hoping to submit my UCAS application soon and hope to be studying in London next year (I'm just so in love with London at the moment). This time I've applied to study Journalism which is something I was interested in before and I feel like this would be a better choice for me career wise as it's something I've always been an interest of mine. And I feel like London will be the perfect place for me to study this as there's so much going on and therefore so much more to write about.
In the meantime, I'm going to find a new job (as I quit my previous job so that I could move to Brighton) and work so much over the next 10 months. Obviously I'm going to keep myself busy during my 'gap year' as it's the perfect chance for me to get more work experience and to gain skills that could help me out if I do go back to university.
These next 10 months I also hope to volunteer for charities and fundraise for them - I'd love to do things that I would never usually do such as skydiving to raise money for a good cause and to also challenge myself more. I also plan to travel a bit during the summer with my boyfriend, so working a full time job will give me the perfect opportunity to save some money for this (and also save some money so that I don't have to work much during my time at university).
Leaving university last month wasn't the easiest decision I've ever made but, at this stage in my life, I feel like it is the best choice I could've made. I'm so excited to see what the future has in store for me.
Have any of you been in this situation before? I'd love to talk to someone else about it!
I'll be back next week with a new post for you all.
Byeeee!
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